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oakley crosshair I've often wondered just what the members of the Academy are smoking when they make their decisions. Whatever it is, they need a new drug, because they have mad some crazy-bad choices over the years. I have many bones to pick with the Academy, and I shall share some of them here and now. Here are my top five Oscars grudges in no particular order: 1. Birthday betrayal This is personal. For my entire childhood, teen-hood and twenties-hood, the Oscars were at the end of March, and the ceremony often fell smack-dab on my March 25 birthday. That made me feel cool and glamorous and somehow destined for stardom. But in 2004, the programming gods went ahead and moved the show to February. When this happened I felt lost and abandoned. March 25 was just another day.This year, the Oscars are at the beginning of March since a February date would have conflicted with the Winter Olympics. But that is no consolation. I cannot forgive or forget. Oscar Isaac, the star of the Coen brothers' "Inside Llewyn Davis," won't be winning an Oscar because the Academy is clueless. (Scott Rudin Productions)2. Snubbing Llewyn Davis Oscar Isaac won't be winning a well-deserved Oscar because the Academy has its head up its backside, and would rather recognize movies featuring mega-rich Wall Street wolves snorting cocaine at hooker parties instead of truly artful cinematic achievements. Isaac plays the titular role inthe meditative, unassumingmasterpiece about the early 1960s New York folk music scene. The only noms "Inside Llewyn Davis" received were for cinematography and sound mixing. If it doesn't win in both those categories I am going to have a hissy fit. Isaac's amazing singing and acting should have made him a shoo-in for a Best Actor nomination. And every other brilliant performer in the film, from John Goodman to the three orange cats who played mystery feline Ulysses, deserved to be nominated as well. And The Coen brothers also should have snagged the Best Director nomination. It seemed like a no-brainer. One of the themes of "Llewyn Davis" is the way true art gets pushed aside for the glorification of commercial garbage, so I guess the snub makes some kind of cosmic sense. Shame on you, Academy. Shame! Julia Roberts was not better in Erin Brockovich than Ellen Burstyn was in "Requiem for a Dream," yet Roberts won the Best Actress Oscar. I call shenanigans! (Press-Register file photo)3. Best Actress, my a%$! At the 2001 Oscars, Julia Roberts was nominated for Best Actress for "Erin Brockovich," as was Ellen Burstyn for "Requiem for a Dream." When Roberts was announced as the winner, I was enraged. Yes, Roberts had never won before, and Burstyn already had an Oscar for 1074's "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore," but who cares? Burstyn was mind-blowing in "Requiem." As pill-addict Sara Goldfarb, shetotally fell from grace mentally, emotionally and physically before our eyes. The beautiful Burstyn became completely unrecognizable in the final stages of Sara's tragedy. But somehow she lost to America's so-called sweetheart. Roberts was OK in "Erin Brockovich," but nowhere near Oscar-worthy in my opinion. And not even in the same dramatic galaxy as Burstyn. Julia juststuck out her boobs and acted all cute tough and stuff. So unfair. I still get peeved when I think about it, which I do probably way more than I should. The amazing Aimee Mann's "Save Me" from "Magnolia" was nominated for Best Song at the 2000 Academy Awards. And she lost to a cheesy Phil Collins Disney ballad. Boo! Mann is shown here performing at the Bonnaroo music festival in Manchester, Tenn., Sunday, June 15, 2008. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey) 4. Best song goes very wrong The year is 2000. The best song category includes "Blame Canada" from "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut," Aimee Mann's "Save Me" from Magnolia and Phil Collins' "You'll Be In My Heart" from Disney's Tarzan. And Collins won for the treacly, generic ballad. This really riled me up. Mann and "Blame Canada" writers Trey Parker and Marc Shaiman are three of my favorite artists and forces of good in the world. And both songs are fantastic. I would have been happy with a win for either "Save Me" or "Blame Canada." But once again, my Oscar dreams were shattered. And It's not that I have anything against Disney or Collins in general. This particular song just really didn't deserve to win. I own and cherish the soundtracks for "The LittleMermaid," "Beauty and the Beast and "Aladdin." I will sing "Part of Your World" and "Prince Ali" in their entirety right now if you don't believe me And Idon''t hate Collins either. "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" is one of my favorite songs of all time. And Collins has also gotten the short end of the Best Song stick, which brings me to my last gripe... 5.Best song goes very wrong part II The Best Song category at the 1984 Oscars was a classic 80s hit parade. The nominees were Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" and Deniece Williams' "Let's Hear it for the Boy" from "Footloose," Phil Collins' "Against All Odds (Take a Look at me Now)" from "Against All Odds," Ray Parker Jr.'s "Ghostbusters" from "Ghostbusters" and Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" from "The Woman in Red." And of course the kitschiest song won the Oscar. "I Just Called" emerged victorious. No offense to the usually wonderful Wonder, but that song stunk. It's the worst Stevie Wonder song of all time. Either Collins or Loggins should have taken the gold man home ... probably Collins. I wish I could just make the Academy turn around,turn around and see me cry when they make such stupid decisions. For all of you who have either forgotten or are too young to remember how beautiful "Take A Look at Me Now" is, I leave you with this video of the Collins classic.